I haven’t much time today
to write away,
I am a poet
and didn’t know it,
I blog something sweet,
but nothing to eat,
early this mornin’
while we was all snorin’
it snowed in germany today
thank heavens it wasn’t where I live USA.
check out the webcams
you’ll receive no spam.
this is the castle of which I dream
and I am ever so thankful I don’t have to clean.
In honor of Halloween today’s questions is:
If you were orange, what would you be?
For those of you thinking pumpkin you better have a good reason, other than it was the first thing you thought of!
My students just got done taking a quiz. Not 10 minutes after she turned in her quiz, Miss Paranoid, comes to me and asked when I will have the quizzes graded? I answered her the same way I get answers IDK (it took me forever to figure out what this means for those of you not in to loop it means I DON’T KNOW). Not today right, she asks? Again me : IDK. Miss P. acts like she is the only student that I have, yeah I wish! I often have to write home notes to her parents (hello this is not kindergarden)! I finally shut that one down a week ago, uhuh no more!
These students fluff their way through everything and then feel like they have the right to question me. I will admit that I am not super grade-o woman. But I feel like I get things back in a timely manner. I have had students, Ms. P in fact, want papers graded right here right now because they can’t go out this weekend unless their grade comes up. Sorry Charlie but I am not a computer nor do I have to account my time to you my dear students.
Another student today, Mr. Effort, asked if he could buy a soda for a dollar. I said no. He asked again. I said no. He asked why. I wanted to say because I am not a vending machine but instead my reply was no, I am not going down that road, it is a habit I will not start. His reply, “Well Ms. R. I’ll remember that when you want a soda for a dollar.” I thought, well you can’t remember to do your homework or put your name on your paper but this you will hold on too.
AHHHHHH, someone please remind me again why I do this?????
Every quarter our students have to take common quarterly assessments. They are brought to us by some loon in the main office with far too much power. (I really should be careful writing this as I am on a school computer, that dun… dun… dun said loon could be watching) So once a quarter I have to pack my belongings and migrate to what always seems to be the farthest computer lab from my home. That is what I am doing today (okay yesterday because I am pre-blogging again).
So here I am happy as a lark , , , , , (that btw is the sarcasm dripping). I have finished my first hour of testing and preparing for the second with my worst class. It takes all I am to keep these boogers (I was gone one day and they were throwing gummy worms, not only at each other but the sub) under control. I am trying to get them settled, this one at the computer this one not (because heaven forbid all students log on to the computer to take the test no only squash-mores take the computer test). Anyways so I am in the middle of Battle Zone 6 when in comes Ms. High Heels (an English teacher) wanting to know if some of her students can come in and finish up their English test. Yeah I gave her that look…. I have a hard enough time keeping track of my 32 little darlings added on top of that I have to watch 2 different groups, keep all of them from talking, make sure the computers don’t malfunction, remember who was in the restroom, try not to die in this sauna and you want me to what????
For those of you who aren’t teachers and instead are mothers or maybe you are both, picture this: You are having a birthday party, one group of 10 or so children are swinging and the others maybe 15 are playing pin the tale on the donkey, you are the only adult present, you have no choice these are the tasks the children must be doing you can’t combine the 2 groups. When another mother, whom you don’t know comes to you and asks if she can leave you 5 children to watch but they will be climbing trees. (Notice all activities have threat of bodily harm my equivalent to cheating – drastic I know but your group only have 20 25 kids mine has 32) These 5 children will also be able to come and go as they please and if they leave they will be replaced by yet another child you don’t know.
So tell me was I wrong or would you have given her that look?
BTW-She didn’t ask for the 3rd hour. Also one of her darlings damaged the computer he was at.
All right here is another picture just begging for you to give it a caption.
Mine: Yumm Glowing Mouse for Dinner!
All right so last weeks Salute was a good one (even if I do say so myself). Hopefully this week you will cry for another reason. So here is this weeks salute (I wish I could get a little emoticon saluting right here like Tim and Al did on Tool Time and the little swooot sound) I would like to salute exterminators!
There is a local radio commercial the sums up my feelings about bugs (if you like, send me your home number and I’ll sing it to you) I often sing this song in the shower much like the man on the radio!
I hate bugs,
any kinda bugs
crazy little bugs
I hate worms,
any kinda worms
crazy little worms.
I like hash
and I like stew
and I like mash potatoes tooooooo
but I hate BUGs
any kinda bugs. Crazy little BBBBBBUUUUUGGGGGGSSSSSSSS!
This should be my theme song in life. I truly hate bugs, if you don’t believe me ask my mother. And I might be mistaken but I think this has been a true statement since childhood. I remember my mother saying once that I would leave the sidewalk in order to avoid a bug (for most people this is also not a big deal but I a rule following girl and that includes walking ALL the way on the sidewalk – no short cuts not even a step).
When my husband and I first got married we lived in a small apartment that I SWEAR was. infested. with. BUGS! When we first moved in, I went to clean the shower (as nothing is really clean unless I clean it myself) and there was a cricket in the shower. I hate bugs but me and crickets that is like war, which they usually win as they jump and it freaks me out, the thought that they might jump on me ick! So I open the shower curtain and their stands MR. CRICKET! So I am frantically searching for something with a ten foot arm to kill this cricket. I find my brand new mop. It doesn’t have a ten foot arm but I guess with the 2 foot of my arms it was close. So I enter the bathroom armed and ready for war (this includes me putting on pants and shoes for the terrible thought that he might get on me). I tiptoe towards the shower (remember I am armed). I pry the shower curtain open, with the mop head of course. I swing at the cricket (and those knowing me are not shocked), I missed. I swing again and again and again. Somehow this cricket is still alive!!! I continue to swing and FINALLY a HIT! THE CRICKET IS DEAD!!!!! Unfortunately, so is my mop. It was broken beyond repair (I had to mop on my hands and knees for the next 6 months, no wait I still do so that is what 3 1/2 years). Now what to do with the dead cricket (trust me it involved the dust pan at an arms length)
One night we went to bed, and for some strange reason the bed had been made (sorry I am just not a bed maker) and there seating neatly at the foot of the bed is a black widow spider. CREAPY! Let me just say I was no where to be found and my dear husband had to face the demon alone! Needless to say we still fluff the sheets to make sure nothing lurks beneath!
One rainy night (again in the apartment from you know where) we were watching a movie and I notice movement in the middle of the floor. This scares me worse than any horror movie! We had centipedes in this apartment so I was as close to the roof as I could get from inside the house (AKA The back of the couch) waiting for my husband to investigate. He found… worms… Yes you heard me right, good ol’ fashioned earth worms in the middle of the living room floor, on. the. carpet.
I was so joyous when we moved to our very first home. I lived semi bug free for a few glorious months (our house was new but never lived in so spiders were an issue, but my dear hubby is always ready to come when I yell, paper towel in hand, ready to kill). My joy soon ended when it was time to install my new flower beds, I just love to get my hands in the dirt and dig, dig, dig. Well that love didn’t last long. In my first 10 minutes of digging I must have found 5+ centipedes. EEEEEWWWWWWEEEEEEEE! Now most people don’t think much of that but I swear we live on an old toxic waste dump so our bugs are bigger than life. These ‘pedes were 3-4 inches long.
Later that summer and after much stress I was out watering my flowers and rinsing the patio (yeah anal about that too) when a FOOT LONG ‘pede came out from under the concrete and right into my Ol’ Whiskey Barrel Planter. I screamed and froze! My husband come running, barefoot to my rescue. After I calmed down enough to tell him what I had seen (I am sure he had his doubts, since then he swears I saw a snake – snakes don’t have like 50 million creepy legs now do they?) He went and put his work boots on, got the chemical he uses to kill all of my enemies and digs around in the planter not finding the darn thing. For that time on he was forced to stand outside in his boots while I watered incase the terrorist should try and invade the planter again. I can’t even imagine what the neighbors must have though when they heard me scream and I just stood on the front step screaming at the top of my lungs.
After that I search the world wide web for all of the info I could find on ‘pedes and the pictures were so awful that after an hour of searching I couldn’t take anymore. I never did find any bomb I could drop on them to kill them. Most of what I read terrified me as it said regular bug killers didn’t work on these invaders. I bought several bug killers hoping one would work. I finally found one at the HDepot. I proceeded to dump 5 gallons along my front flower beds. My husband was convinced I would kill all of my flowers but I did not. I did succeed in killing the ‘pedes! VICTORY IS MINE!!!! I am INV-Ceeee-BLE!!!
Some how one of the attackers got into the house and into the laundry basket. I set the whole thing outside with out a care as to if my undies blew all over the neighborhood. Later that week I was in the shower and looked down and there was a ‘pede in the shower with me. I bolted out of that shower with my bod’ all soaped up and conditioner in my hand. Again my hubby rescued me. I still check under the shower mat to be sure I am alone in the shower.
The list of invaders is long. If you want to be scared, check this out,
we have these little darlings as well as the ‘pedes. Again I swear toxic dump! Look up Child of the Earth if the Picture isn’t enough. We had on on the front step. My husband goes in and gets a small container and scoops the thing up. Now you might no believe this as I have led you to believe that my husband is heroic, but he brought that alien in. to. my. home. I freaked wanted nothing to do with it. He then put it in the toilet and. did. not. flush. He said it was okay because it sunk to the bottom. I flushed 3 times just to make sure he wasn’t coming back up.
So here is to exterminators, my heroes!
Does anyone wanna tell me what happened to my spatula?
I pulled it out of the cupboard lookin’ like this.
Okay I have meant to post this one for a while and was just reminded of it by an announcement on the PA.
I have long complained about one of the office staff. She is the one that makes most of the announcements at out school. She drives me crazy, I often yell at my speaker box and tell her to SHHHHHHHH. She often says “Hey You Guys” and I am reminded of Sloth from the Goonies yelling as he jumps to the wrecked pirate ship.
Anyways She mispronounces names all the time, and I would too but then she giggles and makes jokes while she is still holding down the button the broadcasts her voice all over the campus. Today she said “fresh mens” which has an entirely different meaning then “freshmen”. I often call my mother or complain to my husband about how STUPID she sounds (now i don’t often use the word stupid in reference to people but in her case I make an exception and as of last week I no longer feel guilty for doing so, her is why:
She paged “Seamore Butts you have a phone call”. and then someone had to stop her so that she didn’t repeat the page twice as she usually does. She had no clue as to what she had done or what was so wrong with what she had said. This page was heard by every single sole on campus; students, teachers, administrators, parents and anyone else that might have been on campus at that time. Also we have a very open campus so our pages are heard oustide and anyone walking or driving by at that moment also heard her page!
Anyone else think her paging duties should be OVER?
So I called my mother at lunch (like I always do) hoping to have a nice chat and what does she do, she yells at me for not having a new post today! I have been pre-writing several posts at a time and just dating them for later, well…I ran out of posts and this is not a good time for that. I just finished this quarters grading, I have just returned from a 2 day conference and that 8 week college class that I am teaching 3 nights a week just started so as you can see I am BUSY.
I have no time for a well put together post but here is some of my life’s randomness:
1. I know that I have gained some weight in the pas few years, but when did restroom stalls get so small. It seemed like every stall I went into during this conference was too small. We ate lunch at a FRlDAYS and I had. to . climb. over. the stool. to. shut. the door. I think child would have had to do the same thing the stall was so small.
2. Band-Aids. I just had a student ask me for a band-aid, I sent her to the nurse as I keep just enough band-aids for me in my desk. It is amazing how many students ask for a band-aid during the course of one week. I would understand if the were first graders but the aren’t. What do they do so often that requires band-aids?
3. I HATE COLD! It has been un-seasonally cold in our area this week. I hate it! I can’t even wear my pumpkin flip flops or my toes will freeze.
4. I LOVE Chocolate Covered GUMMMIE Bears. Yumm, yumm. I have a hard time finding these little treasures but we visited a mall after our conference and they had a store that carries them. I loaded up. I have had about 5 so far. I am in heaven.
5. Kleenex, How do high schoolers go through so much Kleenex. I got to looking around and there are 3 boxes of Kleenexes that have been emptied in the 2 days that I was gone.
6. I hate other peoples hair. Our hotel room/bathroom was covered in other peoples hair. I had to shower with my flip flops on (no not the pumpkin ones, that would be degrading). I think this might be a condition caused by my mother. When it was my turn to clean the bathroom, she would check it and it there were any hairs in the tub then the bathroom was not clean. Finding other peoples hairs on my person or in the bath tub totally freaks me out. Like I want to puke, I get chills just thinking about them.
Okay this class is almost over and I need to do other things, please forgive me if nothing gets posted for Friday, I have lots to do (MOM).
Side note: Maybe you my dearest mother should start your own blog so you can complain about my lack of writing there 
